Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.
Today, with your preview of the New York Islanders, Sir Hotbod Handsomeface, retired MYFO founding father and semi-frequent deadspin commenter who, if he could do it all over again, would have made his handle Due Diligence and Initial Purchase Agreement Drafts for a Reasonable Price.
Since you are reading this, I feel like its a safe assumption that you (1) follow hockey (and hockey news) and (2) are up-to-date on basic blogger news, or, alternatively, (3) love dick jokes. Either way, it follows that you have already heard about the latest cutting-edge idea to be unleashed by the New York Islanders this season – the NYI Blog Box. If not – here is your homework assignment.
Now, as MYFO’s Present Executive of Nutty Islanders Stories (PENIS for short), I feel it is my responsibility to secure entrance into the Blog Box.
After the jump, find out how you can help MYFO’s PENIS enter the Islanders’ Box. Continue reading
I will admit a few things before I get started: 1. I did not read the September 10, 2007 edition of ESPN the Magazine cover-to-cover (but I did at least skim the whole thing) and 2. We are approaching the end of the baseball regular season and the beginning of the NFL regular season, while the NHL is still in off-season mode.
Upon a perusal of the WWL’s rag, I uncovered an interesting statistic. Find out what it was after the jump.
As long, unexplained absences go, a contributer on a fledgling hockey blog during the offseason is not going to make much of a blip on the proverbial radar screen. I’m sure no one here was wondering “hey… where’s Sir Hotbod been?” But, I’m going to report my whereabouts anyway – especially because I need to ask a small favor of my fellow MYFOers and our loyal readers. Not only has there been little to write about in the hockey world (and what could be written about was handled more than proficiently by our crack team), but I have been in pursuit of a new goal in my life…
I am presently trying to get on a reality show called Tontine (you can Google it to learn more). I had to make a video for the 2nd round of auditions and post it on youtube (the filming of said video was a 2 week process, itself). The videos posted as part of this audition will be rated according to specific criteria, three of which are views, comments and ratings. Why did I do this? ‘Cause I’m a big fan of money, I like it, I use it, I have a little, I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator, I’d like to put more in that jar, that’s where you come in…
All that I ask is that you login to youtube, click on this link –
-and leave some love in the form of ratings and comments. Help me out big time and watch it a few times. Tell your friends, too.
This may be an annoying post to endure, but if I happened to win the big prize on Tontine, then I can become a full-time blogger. You know what that means? More crappy posts about the Islanders on MYFO! At the very least, you get to see one of the contributers make an ass out of himself on the interwebs. What do you have to lose???
MYFO has learned that former Islander and Senator Alexei Yashin has signed with Локомотив of the Russian Super League (yeah, I’m not really sure what that says either, but I think it has to do with a train or something.)
As is customary with Russian teams, terms of the deal were not officially announced, but we here at MYFO were fortunate enough to gather some intel on some of the bonus provisions of the deal from an informant closely associated to the team. Keeping in mind that all information was in Russian, which forced us to call upon Raskolnikov’s admittedly suspect translation skills, this is what we have gathered…
- -The deal
includes a one year opt-out to the NHL. This would have required an NHL team having actual interest in Yashin one year from now and was, thus, also known as the “moot point clause” of the contract. Apparently Alexei did not want this clause included, so as to spare himself the embarassment.
- -Yashin has an option to be paid in mock-turtlenecks instead of rubles.
- -The team has banned the words “buyout”, “overpaid”, “overrated”, “lazy”, and “didn’t do shit as an Islander” from the locker room. Punishment for violation of the ban is immediate execution.
- -Should Lokomotiv make the playoffs, not only is Yashin not required to produce on the ice, he does not even have to show up for the games. Lokomotiv pushed hard for this clause and was very happy with its inclusion.
If anyone knows of any other provisions in the Yashin contract, please let us know in the comments. Much appreciated.
As my esteemed colleague Kid Canada has already mentioned, Al Arbour will be replacing Ted Nolan as head coach of the Islanders… for a day.
Yes, that’s right. The New York Islanders will continue their long-standing traditions of unorthodox publicity stunts and living in the past on November 3 when Al Arbour, head coach during the glory days, will return to coach his 1500th career game with the Islanders. Possibly the strangest part of the story is that the idea did not come not from Wang or Garth, but Teddy Nolan himself.
So the question at hand is “why are the Islanders better than any other team in the NHL?” The obvious answer – if we are talking about on-ice performance – is that they aren’t. I can’t sit here and try to convince you that they are going to contend with the upper crust of the NHL this year. Hell, they probably won’t even compete with whatever is below the upper crust in this metaphor of mine. But what I will argue is that the Isles are a team with a very bright future, a storied past and a present that is willing to embrace the here-and-now, as well as make a little news from time to time.
Follow me after the jump and I’ll explain why.