Someone Needs to Gang-Rape Gary Bettman's Wife

Fighting in hockey is great. Everyone loves hockey fight clips–even the announcers go nuts for a good scrap (check out Ken Wilson in the clip below–“Main Event! Get everybody to the ropes!”). Great fighters–Tony Twist, Bob Probert, Tie Domi, Joey Kocur–are beloved in their home cities. A fight gets the crowd fired up, it gets the players fired up. Self-regulation through fighting also leads to cleaner play overall–you don’t have to be a genius visionary like Don Cherry to know that. Everyone who loves hockey loves a good fight, and understands its place in the game. So why doesn’t Gary Bettman get it?

Kenny Rogers knows the answer.