MYFO Mormonisms

Who cares if these are bad ideas--nice stems

Welcome to MYFO’s newest weekly monthly semi–weekly annual (maybe) recurring feature, MYFO Mormonism. This is a place where we have ideas that sound good in theory, but when we try to put them into practice, they really don’t turn out as well as we hoped. Much like communism. These are ideas that seem funny to us, but we’re not talented enough to make them into full-blown articles. Join your favorite Melt Your Face-Off writers after the jump for our poorly thought out ideas.

Happy Labor Day, folks

Bit of a quick hit that I stumbled upon this weekend. Getting past the overwhelming cloud of Aquanet, process for a moment that the chick is the nominee for Vice President of the United States.

I have an ex who has big tits and is pro-life. Can she be nominated for VP too? She could probably run a good play-by-play on a Big 10 basketball game, too.

I don’t care about any of your political views. I really don’t. But…seriously? Couldn’t we have at least gotten the “Boom Goes the Dynamite” dude?

Stream of Consciousness Rant

Afternoon, folks. As you no doubt are aware from our day of circle-jerking, today is MYFO’s birthday. Since I won’t be around to actually celebrate with you fine people (I’ll be in Detroilet for one of Deadspin’s Patented Pants Parties), I’ve decided to write one of my patented stream of consciousness rants to give a giant finger to everything about the past year in MYFO and beyond that has pissed me off. My stream of consciousness had brought you such fine works as Sean Avery Chronicles, MYFO’s Open Letter Series, Pittsburgh sucking a big cock, and the NHL Shop Uncovered. After the jump, see my own special version of the year in review.

What Kind of Idiots Launch a Hockey Blog in the Dead of Summer?

Yeah, well, that was us, exactly one year ago. Many of you, we suspect, weren’t around back when this humble little post got things started. It’s like a time capsule! That was like, three banners and several dozen editors and contributors ago! (Hint: I wouldn’t bother sending an email to the address in the post and trying to get yourself hooked up as an editor.)

Here we stand, however, the Final Five Editors. Our faces are not known. But, thanks to the all-bountiful series of tubes, all of our idiot musings last forever, or at least until the FBI shuts down WordPress. Follow us as we re-live MYFO’s rise from complete obscurity to the 256th-most-read hockey blog in North America (Canada excluded).

Thnks fr th Mmrs

I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, Will.

MYFO Editorial: Open Letter to Gary Bettman

We here at MYFO try rarely to be serious about things. We bring the funny. But there are times, such as now, where we stare at a piece of news and can find no humorous slant to take on it, because it’s just infuriating. This summer, we will be introducing a series of Open Letters to personalities around the NHL. As always, much love and respect to the artist formerly known as I Party With Smoot for the artwork. Today, we introduce the first in that series, an Open Letter to Gary Bettman.

MYFO Liveblog: Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals

If you think I’m going to use that goddamned overtime cat again, you’re nuts. That was a jinx.

Anyway, Game 6 is tonight. Can the Pens gut out another win? We’ll find out.

In the meantime, join us here for the liveblog starting around 7:30 PM EDT