Our God is an Awesome God

So the Penguins deal away Colby Armstrong for Marian Hossa. Hossa is either acclaimed and reviled, depending on who you talk to. But universally, everyone wanted to see how he’d do on a line with Our Lord and Savior, Sidney Crosby.

FOOLS!

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Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?

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The St. Louis Blues rank at or near the bottom of the NHL in scoring and power play efficiency. That tends to happen when you have a roster clogged with stay-at-home defensemen and third- and fourth-line wingers whose best chance at scoring involves the opposing goaltender having a grand mal seizure.

One bright spot has been rookie winger David Perron, who has scored 11 goals (on just 46 shots, entering last night’s action), despite having been dressed for only around 40 games, and receiving a lot of limited fourth-line ice time. So why has this budding sniper been buried on the depth chart and filling up on press box food? Well, it seems he’s too “frisky.”

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MYFO’s Classic Movie Adaptations: Goodfellas (Part II)

Stabby Simon

We proudly continue with the presentation of MYFO’s Classic Movie Adaptation of Goodfellas, here on Mastercrease Theatre. Join us, will you? To view Part I of the production, you can find it here. Enjoy.  

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MYFO’s Classic Movie Adaptations: Goodfellas (Part I)

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Hello, MYFO readers. Martin Scorsese here. I imagine few of you are aware I’m a big hockey fan. In fact, I love the NHL – okay – in particular the Minnesota Wild. So I followed with great interest – okay – the recent developments involving my beloved team. At the trade deadline, the Wild picked up Chris Simon in a trade. I mean, Chris Simon? He’s more fitting as a character in one of my films as opposed to a professional hockey player – which got me to thinking – okay – picture this – okay –

Every year or so, I try to do something – okay – it keeps me refreshed as to what’ s going on in front of the lens, and I understand what the actor is going through. So, get this – okay – I have re-imagined some key scenes from Goodfellas and adapted them to try and perceive with my mind’s eye how things could go with Derek Boogaard, Todd Fedoruk and Chris Simon on the same team.

ACTION! Continue reading

It Seems That Even Wild Fans Have Some Standards

Wild at HeartSince my colleague Weed is still working mightily to restrain himself from writing about the Wild to earn some handy cash, I’m picking up the torch today. The Wild’s big trade deadline move came in the form of Chris Simon. Yes, the same Chris Simon who received the longest suspension in NHL history earlier this year. The same Simon who many people believe shouldn’t be allowed to put on an NHL sweater ever again after having been suspended seven times, for everything from attempted murder to racial slurs.

Wild fandom is, apparently, underwhelmed. As Nick in New York put it over at Hitting the Post, “some Wild fans are a little tweaked about this.” Like commenter Kirsten, who proclaimed herself “ready to choke a bitch” over the acquisition. Over at her own Land of Lakes and Hockey, Kirsten prays to Baby Hockey Jesus to “make Chris Simon go away.” (Perhaps Sidney will send St. Georges to slay this particular dragon.)

My question to Wild fans: since when have you had standards? Continue reading

Trade Deadline Passes; Boston Hit the Snooze Bar

ClockBOSTON (MYFO) – On a day where over 25 deals were struck in efforts to make the playoffs or build for the future, one NHL team remained quiet all day long.  The Boston Bruins, currently hanging on to the 6th position in the Eastern Conference, kept the roster intact as the 3 PM zero hour came and went.

“We overslept.  It’s awful, right?  What a dagger.  I swear, it’s like my alarm clock didn’t even go off.  Needless to say, we’re all pretty disappointed that technology has failed us,” stated General Manager Peter Chiarelli.

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Why All Penguin Fans Are Confused Right Now

SheroTo help explain this excitement / bafflement sandwich us Pens fans have been picking at for the past 24 hours, I’ve taken the liberty of combining sentences from the article in yesterday’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, “Though Penguins not ruling anything out, major deal not likely at today’s NHL trade deadline“, with sentences from this morning’s article, “Penguins make blockbuster trade“. See if you can tell the difference:

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