Meta: Selling Out, New Feature, Reader Response, and Construction

EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!

Evening folks. As Rask points out below (look now! I’ll be here when you come back.), tomorrow begins the season. With that, MYFO is taking the opportunity to kick back into full-speed. We have a few more previews to come out, but heading into the final “Off Weekend”, we’re introducing another new feature, and this one is designed to only pop up once in a while!

Before we get to that, a bit of Meta stuff.: we here at MYFO apologize in advance for any down time we have over the weekend. We’re doing a bit of last-minute pre-season cleaning that we should have done over the summer, but one of us was about as productive as a monkey masturbating with a banana peel over the summer. Not saying who (me) but that person is very sorry for the time that he (I) has (have) wasted. Good lord willing, and creeks not rising, we’ll be new and improved Monday morning, with special treats for everyone!

Also, MYFO started the process of selling out to the highest bidder by joining in on ESPN: The Magazine’s hockey preview. Go comment on their post and tell them how funny we are. We’re selling out more in the near future, but we’ll tell you about that once things are finalized.

And now, after the break, we introduce The MYFO Home Game.

Release the Hounds, er ThunderBug!

RD is in love.

Hey everyone, it’s that time again!  No, not to “Remember the Alamo” or perform one of our cute skits.  The season’s starting tomorrow in Prague, which is slightly less dangerous than Bratislava.  I wanted cover the game in person, but with rising Xanax and bourbon costs, the only way I’m crossing the Atlantic is by millions of seagulls.  And I don’t see any giant peaches, do you?  So, I offer this public service announcement.

Season Preview: Boston Bruins

To me, my Bruins!

Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing/dumb/not self-respecting enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job. Today’s preview of the Boston Bruins is brought to you by Gabe and John of The Jumbotron.

Oh, yeah.  The Jumbotron laughs in the face of Word Counts.

The Blades Protocols: A Systematic, Player-by-Player Guide of How To Defeat The Boston Bruins

Although the Boston Bruins are celebrated as an “Original Six” team, did you know that not many people are aware of the Boston Bruins existence? You, yourself may have thought that the Boston Bruins were simply a rumor, or that if they had existed, that they died out years ago (1971-72 to be exact). However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The Bruins are indeed alive, and walk among us almost every day. Luckily, your friends at The Jumbotron have secured copies of the long-rumored “Blades Protocols”: A set of doomsday plans compiled by “beloved” Bruins mascot, Blades, scribbled on cocktail napkins and unsold ticket stubs, that detail the best way to defeat the current Bruins roster, including Coach Claude Julien and Blades himself, should they become too large a danger.

Season Preview: Detroit Red Wings

This preview: fair and balanced like the seesaw

Season Preview: Florida Panthers

Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing/dumb/not self-respecting enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Today’s preview of YOUR Florida Panthers is brought to you by Deadspin legend, ladies man and dashing continental gentleman Jordan Bowes, aka Tattooed Messiah.

Before we get into it, let me indulge my inner Silky Johnston for a second and do some quality hating. Ahem…What can I say about this year’s Florida Panthers roster that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan? They’re bombed out and depleted!

There are fewer stars on this team than at the Comedy Central roast of Gallagher.

From the casual fan’s point of view, Jacques Martin made more questionable moves this off-season than most guys do at last call on Thirsty Thursdays.

The New NHL.com: It’s Mission Impossible 2

I remembering seeing Mission: Impossible in the theater some 12 years ago.  (What else was I going to go see?  The Pallbearer?)  Looking back, I remember two main things about the flick.  First – it pushed the envelope action-wise, and left us with at least one iconic spy scene (you know, when Tom Cruise casts his Scientology magic to hover above a shiny kitchen floor.) 

Second – I have no idea what the fuck went on in this movie.

If you asked me to explain the plot of the movie now, in 2008, I could probably describe some visuals for you, name drop a few of the actors, and provide you with the most basic of information.  I would feel as if I did my job selling the movie to you, but both you and I know, I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.  I’m still not sure if Jon Voight was a good guy or a bad guy.  (Based on my Varsity Blues bias, however, I’m going to assume bad guy.)

In essence, this is my opinion when it comes to the once and current NHL.com.  It seems like most of the basic things you’d want out of a league’s website are there, and you can get enough information to sound like you know what you’re talking about.  Other than that, it’s a backwards-logic, confusing implosion of hockey.

Good news, sports fans.  The NHL feels your pain, and has come out with a sequel.

Season Previews: Washington Capitals

Ovie....Time?

Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing/dumb/not self-respecting enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Today’s preview of YOUR Washington Capitals is brought to you by frequent MYFO commenter and liveblog fan favorite Caps Red Army.