Caption Contest: Martin Skoula, Amateur Optometrist

Hey Josh, I think you have something in your eye.

Hello kids. I have decided to open up the comments section to a good old fashioned Caption Contest. It’s like making fun of retards, without the guilt and feelings of supremacy.

Please join us in the comments section and show why MYFO readers are the most funny, perverse and “special” (in a good way) people on these here internets. So go ahead and let us know what would be the most fitting caption for the above photo. Winner gets their choice of any MYFO product from our store on Zazzle. Most imporantly, be the third person in the world to don MYFO gear! (Other than me and LeNoc’s grandma – that cooky lady)

Submissions will be accepted through Friday, October 10th.

Be nice. Although, we encourage you to make jokes along the lines of “buk-hockey?”, any acceptable attempt at humor will become the intellectual property of MYFO and we will use it accordingly and make millions of dollars off of it while you sit there eating Smack Ramen. Sucks to be you.

Meta: Selling Out, New Feature, Reader Response, and Construction

EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!

Evening folks. As Rask points out below (look now! I’ll be here when you come back.), tomorrow begins the season. With that, MYFO is taking the opportunity to kick back into full-speed. We have a few more previews to come out, but heading into the final “Off Weekend”, we’re introducing another new feature, and this one is designed to only pop up once in a while!

Before we get to that, a bit of Meta stuff.: we here at MYFO apologize in advance for any down time we have over the weekend. We’re doing a bit of last-minute pre-season cleaning that we should have done over the summer, but one of us was about as productive as a monkey masturbating with a banana peel over the summer. Not saying who (me) but that person is very sorry for the time that he (I) has (have) wasted. Good lord willing, and creeks not rising, we’ll be new and improved Monday morning, with special treats for everyone!

Also, MYFO started the process of selling out to the highest bidder by joining in on ESPN: The Magazine’s hockey preview. Go comment on their post and tell them how funny we are. We’re selling out more in the near future, but we’ll tell you about that once things are finalized.

And now, after the break, we introduce The MYFO Home Game.

Release the Hounds, er ThunderBug!

RD is in love.

Hey everyone, it’s that time again!  No, not to “Remember the Alamo” or perform one of our cute skits.  The season’s starting tomorrow in Prague, which is slightly less dangerous than Bratislava.  I wanted cover the game in person, but with rising Xanax and bourbon costs, the only way I’m crossing the Atlantic is by millions of seagulls.  And I don’t see any giant peaches, do you?  So, I offer this public service announcement.

Osteoporosis is a Fickle Bitch

DETROIT — Red Wings defenseman Chris Chelios will be sidelined three to six weeks with a fractured shin bone.  The team says Chelios was injured while blocking a slap shot during the third period of Tuesday night’s 2-1 preseason loss to Montreal. On Wednesday, he was maneuvering around Joe Louis Arena on crutches.  According to the Detroit News, the shot hit his right leg, below the knee.

Also according to the Detroit News, Chelios hates everything but Matlock.  Ooh!  It’s on now!

Season Preview: Detroit Red Wings

This preview: fair and balanced like the seesaw

The 2008 Vincent Damphousse Award Winner: Jeff O’Neill

Every year around this time, you and your buddies gather and your local bar/pub/igloo (Canadians only) to conduct a fantasy draft.  Somewhere around 11 or 12, you’re left with a dilemma.  You could either roll the dice on a better player on a bad team (read: Nathan Horton, FLA), or a proven name who, well, did all of his proving on your Sega Genesis more than a decade ago.  This isn’t like fantasy baseball, where you may get lucky and get 180 innings out of an aging Mike Mussina or Randy Johnson.  This is hockey, damn it.  If you’re an old forward, you might as well buy a nice suit and start angling for plush assistant coaching positions with your current club.

The New NHL.com: It’s Mission Impossible 2

I remembering seeing Mission: Impossible in the theater some 12 years ago.  (What else was I going to go see?  The Pallbearer?)  Looking back, I remember two main things about the flick.  First – it pushed the envelope action-wise, and left us with at least one iconic spy scene (you know, when Tom Cruise casts his Scientology magic to hover above a shiny kitchen floor.) 

Second – I have no idea what the fuck went on in this movie.

If you asked me to explain the plot of the movie now, in 2008, I could probably describe some visuals for you, name drop a few of the actors, and provide you with the most basic of information.  I would feel as if I did my job selling the movie to you, but both you and I know, I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.  I’m still not sure if Jon Voight was a good guy or a bad guy.  (Based on my Varsity Blues bias, however, I’m going to assume bad guy.)

In essence, this is my opinion when it comes to the once and current NHL.com.  It seems like most of the basic things you’d want out of a league’s website are there, and you can get enough information to sound like you know what you’re talking about.  Other than that, it’s a backwards-logic, confusing implosion of hockey.

Good news, sports fans.  The NHL feels your pain, and has come out with a sequel.