Season Preview: Vancouver Canucks

 Another excruciatingly long summer is over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing/dumb/not self-respecting enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Today, previewing the Vancouver Canucks, one of the Alpha Soldiers in the MYFO Army, the one and only Wrap Around Curl.

I know what you are thinking “what the hell is Wrap doing writing about the Canucks? I mean, didn’t she proclaim that the Canucks were no longer hers and she was shopping around for a new team? Was it all just a publicity stunt?”

NHL Mascots: Exposed (Volume III)

After a lengthy hiatus, MYFO is pleased to finally present the third installment of our “NHL Mascots: Exposed” series, where we take a closer look at those perky purveyors of performance art and attempt to ascertain what makes them tick. But be forewarned: the life of a mascot is not always a pretty one. The road to the top, as these fine examples of arena entertainment surely have trekked, is fraught with detours, some more shameful than others. Enjoy.

Where the Party At? Western Conference Edition

The NHL Draft isn’t like the ones held by the NBA or the NFL.  Work up whatever fervor you like; 98.9 percent of the the teens and foreigners awkwardly pronounced behind a podium won’t be making an impact on your favorite team this season.  But hey, some people like to celebrate this sort of stuff, and many NHL teams want to help.  So join MYFO in our rundown of all the league’s DRAFT PARTIES.  Just don’t blame us when the prick in the back makes the jukebox blare Journey right when your team is about to pick.

Today, the Western Conference.

See You on the Fairway: Northwest Edition

Contrary to popular belief, not everybody in the NHL makes the playoffs.  Try as they may, 14 teams ended their hockey-related obligations this weekend after a long, hard year of sucktitude.  We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.

Next up, Weed Against Speed with the Northwest tee times.

Score One for the Commissioner

If you watched the All-Star Game Super Skills Exhibition, you probably saw all those NHL players do their best “creative” shootout moves. Unfortunately, during the competition “creativity” was interpreted by most of the players as “not actually scoring.” So the competition was sort of anticlimactic.

But apparently, it did inspire at least a couple of players this weekend to get creative in actual game shootout conditions, where it made a difference whether or not the puck went in. First up, Brent Burns of the Wild undresses Manny Legace:

Not to be outdone, Ryan Shannon of the Canucks goes after the jump.

Welcome Back! (Pacific Northwest Edition)

Welcome to the newest feature on MYFO: Welcome Back! We know there’s a lot of fans of football teams that have nothing to pay attention to anymore. Knowing that, they’re turning to other sports. We’re happy to help. Every time a football team’s season ends, we’ll welcome those fans back to the fold by giving them an update as to what that city’s team has been up to this year.

A Token Glance Out West: We Are NOT All Canucks

There is a definite East Coast bias in the MYFO writers lineup. Or possibly a Midwestern bias. But since the westernmost of us is barely a few clicks west of the Mississippi, there hasn’t been a whole lot of focus on those strange hockey teams that play most of their games very late at night. Today, for one day (or a few hours at least), that goes by the wayside. Squarely in the spotlight for your enjoyment today…the Vancouver Canucks.